दिल ढूँढता है....

What do u think, who is the most influential person in my love life? Dont you be thinking he's my companion... Well, He is.. But more than him its the man having most romantic ideas in his life. The man without whome I had never came to know depth of love..The man who gave me assurance that "हमने देखा है दो तकदीरों को जुड़ते हुए.." The man who has written most romantic statement without being idialistic "तेरे बिना जिंदगी से कोई शिकवा तो नहीं तेरे बिना जिंदगी भी लेकिन जिंदगी तो नहीं.. "
Yess.. That man is "Gulzar saab". I am One of the crazy fans of his words. From my teenage till date he has the tremendeous influence on my ideas of romance, love and life. We always listen to many romantic songs. We do like to hear them again and agian too. But very few songs touch our heart, our soaul in such a way that we cant stop desiring that ideas in our lives. For me most of my closed songs are by Gulzar saab. I just become so helpless aginst the power of his words that I cant do anything but believing it.. dreaming it.. desiring it.. I havent gone much through his poetry as his songs. But whatever of his songs are there, they are part of my personality.
The magic of his songs started from movie Bandini.. "मोरा गोरा अंग लै ले..." and still going on. I am used to listen lots and lots of old songs and some of his lines have just penetrated my soul.
हमने देखि है इन आँखों की महकती खुशबू
हाथ से छूके इन्हें रिश्तो का इल्जाम ना दो...
सिर्फ एहसास है ये रूह से महसूस करो
प्यार को प्यार ही रहने दो कोई नाम न दो...
I think, I, same as everyone else, has very much fascination about the feelings beyond expressions. And these lines has stated the same.. सिर्फ एहसास है ये रूह से महसूस करो... Aaah.. Really some realtions can not bear the load of touch.
Well there are number of lines of Gulzar saab which are so special to me and every line is worth an article. I think his lines are special because though he has imagined the most romantic situations, we can never say that they are 100% imaginary. परवली की सर्दियों में जब धुप पड़ती हो तो इस निम्मे निम्मे ठण्ड और आग में मीर के सिवा और किसकी बात हो सकती है..? I had always wished that my love should come true in a way he stated. I remember very well that I was in 9th ( A perfect teenager you know.. :)) when 'Asoka' released and just a year after that 'Sathiya'. I had just went mad over his lines. "ढूँढा है ढूँढा है तुझे आकाश ऊपर तले.. शायद किसी नदियाँ पे चलता हुवा तू मिले..." And I was damn sure that Mujhe nadiya pe chalataa huwa koi mil hi jaayega. And more of it it was not just romanticism. I wanted to feel the extreme pain in love. "मेरे साथ जाए ना मेरी परछाई रे.." I actually wanted this to happen. I wanted to meet someone very badly who'll say
"तुम कहो तो रुके ...
तुम कहो तो चले ...
मुझको पहचानती है कहाँ मंजिले? "
And I had some strange ideas that actual love can not happen without such non practical passionate acts.. :D
Well all things didnt remain the same and I am no more teenager but I still go crazy with his words. And I always will.. The day I will feel nothing after listening to his songs may be the day I'll be no more. Though most of the things, feelings, ideas have changed, time cant change some of them. And I have such feelings for the great song of him "दिल ढूँढता है फिर वोही फुरसत के रात दिन.."
This song is actually meant to be the kaleidoscope of the lost love and the memories of good time they had together. But I have never felt to see this song in that way. I had heard this song first time when I was in 6th standard and I had gone just crazy.I dont know what I understood about this song that time or what actually I thought but whatever picture came into my mind just made me crazy. Its really a poignant poetry of loosing true love and one can feel like to go back and try to live those old beautiful moments again..
But for me its just a portrait of perfect romantic moments..
I dont have to explain anything about this song as all ideas in the song are self explaining. I am just trying to express my feelings when I listen to this song.

दिल ढूँढता है फिर वोही फुरसत के रात दिन
बैठे रहे तसव्वुर-ए-जाना किये हुए....
For me its the height of romanticism. It takes me to such a different level where there is no excitement in love. Its just peace. And I think it needs to cross the greatest level of romanticisam to feel peace with it.

जाडों की नर्म धुप और आँगन में लेटकर
आँखों पे खींचकर तेरे दामन के सायें को
औंधे पड़े रहे कभी करवट लिये हुए...
No couple can ever imagine about a more beautiful moment than this. And more than being a romantic song, its a perfect discription of human moods and changes in nature during every season. Have you guys ever noticed the natural change in mood and mentality during summer and winter? Winter nights are always so steady.. so still.. they just make me to go quite and feel the peace in the surrounding.

या गर्मियों की रात जो पुरवाईयाँ चले
ठंडी सफ़ेद चादरों में जागे देर तक
तारों को देखते रहे छत पर पड़े हुए...
And on the contrary, summer nights bring amusement with them. I dont know but somehow they are so energetic and you feel like having some long chats or fun with your companion or may be with you alone. (Well may be being a nocturnal I've liked this stanza more :D)

बर्फीली सर्दियों में किसी भी पहाड़ से
वादीं में गूंजती हुयी खामोशियाँ सुने
आँखों में भीगे भीगे से लम्हे लिये हुए....
The song has affected me so badly that whenever I see a valley or a mountain the first thought comes in my mind is this stanza. Have you ever tried to listen the voice of silence? The concept itself is so fascinating. And here Gulzar saab has stated about echo of silence. Well echo of silence cant be anything but silence itself.

I dont know what happens to me when I listen this song.. It sounds me happy when I am happy.. It sounds me sad when I am sad.. It sounds me peaceful when I am steady.. I just dont know. But these are the most magical words of my life. If ever I had to choose just one memory from my life and forget everything else, I'll choose this song....