दिल ढूँढता है....

What do u think, who is the most influential person in my love life? Dont you be thinking he's my companion... Well, He is.. But more than him its the man having most romantic ideas in his life. The man without whome I had never came to know depth of love..The man who gave me assurance that "हमने देखा है दो तकदीरों को जुड़ते हुए.." The man who has written most romantic statement without being idialistic "तेरे बिना जिंदगी से कोई शिकवा तो नहीं तेरे बिना जिंदगी भी लेकिन जिंदगी तो नहीं.. "
Yess.. That man is "Gulzar saab". I am One of the crazy fans of his words. From my teenage till date he has the tremendeous influence on my ideas of romance, love and life. We always listen to many romantic songs. We do like to hear them again and agian too. But very few songs touch our heart, our soaul in such a way that we cant stop desiring that ideas in our lives. For me most of my closed songs are by Gulzar saab. I just become so helpless aginst the power of his words that I cant do anything but believing it.. dreaming it.. desiring it.. I havent gone much through his poetry as his songs. But whatever of his songs are there, they are part of my personality.
The magic of his songs started from movie Bandini.. "मोरा गोरा अंग लै ले..." and still going on. I am used to listen lots and lots of old songs and some of his lines have just penetrated my soul.
हमने देखि है इन आँखों की महकती खुशबू
हाथ से छूके इन्हें रिश्तो का इल्जाम ना दो...
सिर्फ एहसास है ये रूह से महसूस करो
प्यार को प्यार ही रहने दो कोई नाम न दो...
I think, I, same as everyone else, has very much fascination about the feelings beyond expressions. And these lines has stated the same.. सिर्फ एहसास है ये रूह से महसूस करो... Aaah.. Really some realtions can not bear the load of touch.
Well there are number of lines of Gulzar saab which are so special to me and every line is worth an article. I think his lines are special because though he has imagined the most romantic situations, we can never say that they are 100% imaginary. परवली की सर्दियों में जब धुप पड़ती हो तो इस निम्मे निम्मे ठण्ड और आग में मीर के सिवा और किसकी बात हो सकती है..? I had always wished that my love should come true in a way he stated. I remember very well that I was in 9th ( A perfect teenager you know.. :)) when 'Asoka' released and just a year after that 'Sathiya'. I had just went mad over his lines. "ढूँढा है ढूँढा है तुझे आकाश ऊपर तले.. शायद किसी नदियाँ पे चलता हुवा तू मिले..." And I was damn sure that Mujhe nadiya pe chalataa huwa koi mil hi jaayega. And more of it it was not just romanticism. I wanted to feel the extreme pain in love. "मेरे साथ जाए ना मेरी परछाई रे.." I actually wanted this to happen. I wanted to meet someone very badly who'll say
"तुम कहो तो रुके ...
तुम कहो तो चले ...
मुझको पहचानती है कहाँ मंजिले? "
And I had some strange ideas that actual love can not happen without such non practical passionate acts.. :D
Well all things didnt remain the same and I am no more teenager but I still go crazy with his words. And I always will.. The day I will feel nothing after listening to his songs may be the day I'll be no more. Though most of the things, feelings, ideas have changed, time cant change some of them. And I have such feelings for the great song of him "दिल ढूँढता है फिर वोही फुरसत के रात दिन.."
This song is actually meant to be the kaleidoscope of the lost love and the memories of good time they had together. But I have never felt to see this song in that way. I had heard this song first time when I was in 6th standard and I had gone just crazy.I dont know what I understood about this song that time or what actually I thought but whatever picture came into my mind just made me crazy. Its really a poignant poetry of loosing true love and one can feel like to go back and try to live those old beautiful moments again..
But for me its just a portrait of perfect romantic moments..
I dont have to explain anything about this song as all ideas in the song are self explaining. I am just trying to express my feelings when I listen to this song.

दिल ढूँढता है फिर वोही फुरसत के रात दिन
बैठे रहे तसव्वुर-ए-जाना किये हुए....
For me its the height of romanticism. It takes me to such a different level where there is no excitement in love. Its just peace. And I think it needs to cross the greatest level of romanticisam to feel peace with it.

जाडों की नर्म धुप और आँगन में लेटकर
आँखों पे खींचकर तेरे दामन के सायें को
औंधे पड़े रहे कभी करवट लिये हुए...
No couple can ever imagine about a more beautiful moment than this. And more than being a romantic song, its a perfect discription of human moods and changes in nature during every season. Have you guys ever noticed the natural change in mood and mentality during summer and winter? Winter nights are always so steady.. so still.. they just make me to go quite and feel the peace in the surrounding.

या गर्मियों की रात जो पुरवाईयाँ चले
ठंडी सफ़ेद चादरों में जागे देर तक
तारों को देखते रहे छत पर पड़े हुए...
And on the contrary, summer nights bring amusement with them. I dont know but somehow they are so energetic and you feel like having some long chats or fun with your companion or may be with you alone. (Well may be being a nocturnal I've liked this stanza more :D)

बर्फीली सर्दियों में किसी भी पहाड़ से
वादीं में गूंजती हुयी खामोशियाँ सुने
आँखों में भीगे भीगे से लम्हे लिये हुए....
The song has affected me so badly that whenever I see a valley or a mountain the first thought comes in my mind is this stanza. Have you ever tried to listen the voice of silence? The concept itself is so fascinating. And here Gulzar saab has stated about echo of silence. Well echo of silence cant be anything but silence itself.

I dont know what happens to me when I listen this song.. It sounds me happy when I am happy.. It sounds me sad when I am sad.. It sounds me peaceful when I am steady.. I just dont know. But these are the most magical words of my life. If ever I had to choose just one memory from my life and forget everything else, I'll choose this song....

FORREST GUMP

"Have you found Jesus yet, Gump?"
"I didnt know I was supposed to be looking for him, sir."
Aaaaaah.......
When I heard the sentence first time, I went blank.. Dont know for how much time. How can anyone live the life in a way it is supposed to be lived in true sense.? It lead me to the basic question of life.
Most of us are bound to a lifestyle in which we have accepted so much without thinking about them a lot. As if they are meant to be there. But are they really? And this question gave rise to the extreme internal chaos. What am I going to be with this? And the man only gave answer to the question .. "I am going to be ME.."
And its really hard to be you. Because many of the times we just dont know what we are. I mean we do things just because we know that they are done by everyone in this way only. Do we really know what had we done if we didnt have any prejudice?
Well, to live life without prejudice is impossible as what we are at every moment is the sum of our lives till that moment. But what if any life is just so pure?
And it is FORREST GUMP.
The movie released on 6th July 1994, starring Tom Hanks in lead role, based on a novel by Winston Groom..
The movie is about the boy named Forrest Gump, living alone with his mother having below average IQ as well as problem with leg spine due to which he had to wear leg braces. The movie shows the journey of his life and some accidental incedents which gave him direction to move towards next thing.
Well, I am not going to tell the story here. I am stating such few things which made Forrest an integral part of my life.
Every soul in this world has something so pure. Forrest is the reflection of that purity. Everyone can find Forrest within himself/ herself. Forrest posseses many good qualities without even knowing what he has and how very rare they are!
But the best thing about Forrest is his love for Jenny. He loved her throughout his life without saying much 'I love you'. He loved her for what she was without even knowing the greatness of that love, he cared for her without being possessive, he stood for her whenever needed and never ever compelled her to love him back. I think the ability to love and accept someone as he/she is, is the greatest thing one can do for someone. Its not possible without leaving your ego and which is the most difficult thing. Its really difficult to be simple.. Isnt it?
The movie is full of great scenes. His narration about his life, the few scenes between him and his mother which showed the unique way she had used to brought up Forrest. The scene of Forrest-Bubba friendship, the relation Forrest had with Lt. Dan, in miltry as well as after being shrimping boat partners, the scene showing his intemacy with Jenny..... etc etc... But for me the best scene in the movie is when Forrest comes to know that little Forrest is his son. The expression Tom Hanks has given while becoming unable to ask wheather he can go, talk to his son are just just incredible.
Well, finally when we think what we like the most about Forrest, we just get confused. Is it his honesty or his ability to love or his simplicity or his hard working nature or his fidelity or being what he is? For me, after the movie I didnt feel like falling in love with him, I didnt feel to be like him, neither I felt he is the greatest man. It was just a satisfaction of getting to know something extremely pure. You can never feel like disturbing its purity by describing it. What else can you say about a man believing death is the part of life and same time wishing if its not...
I was missing something untill I watched the movie. Now he has become a part of my life in such a way that not a single day passes without thinking about him. No wonder the movie won 6 academy awards including best actor, best director and best movie.
For me Forrest Gump is not just a movie or a story or a character. Its the poetry of love, duty, fight, achievement, living, growing, accepting. Its an epic.
Thats all I have to say about that... :)

Kahaani ke pichhe..

Sometimes, we read something, watch a movie or listen a song and over the period of time that becomes so integral part of our lives that we cant accept, they are imaginary. We just cant imagine our lives without them. This blog is about some such things which are really very close to my heart. Without them I would have been always incomplete..